


Supernatural Rhapsody

by under_a_grey_cloud



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:10:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2618051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_a_grey_cloud/pseuds/under_a_grey_cloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:</p><p>The story of Supernatural, set to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody.<br/>It's too much to fit into one parody, so I'll break them down by character.<br/>The timeline is fluid, depending on the song and my memory.</p><p>I hope to write more, but no promises.<br/>This is utterly silly and please feel free to skip it.<br/>I'd like to write several more, from different characters' perspectives, but my Destiel story is calling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Supernatural Rhapsody: Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

  * For [destieljunkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieljunkie/gifts).



> This is not meant as a political missive, just a parody.
> 
> If it works out I will add other Supernatural characters.
> 
> If not, well, it's one of a kind.

**Part One: Dean Winchester**

Am I a demon?  
And will my eyes be black?  
Wasn’t I dead or  
Did Crowley bring me back?

‘Open your eyes,  
Feel what I feel and see’  
Crowley says he wants a mate I think he wants to copulate  
The first blade’s just an old jawbone  
Do not touch, leave it alone  
Don’t take away my jawbone it really really matters to me, to me

Mama, just killed something bad  
Put a knife into its chest,  
Plunged it in, you know the rest.  
Mama, Destiel had just begun,  
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.

Mama, ooh,  
Didn't wanna watch you die,  
Burning on the ceiling very high  
Very high, very high as if you didn’t matter.

Too late, my latest time has come,  
Stabbing up and down my spine,  
I keep dying all the time.  
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,  
Go to Hell to be tortured on a giant spider web

Mama, ooh (anyway the Hell Hounds go),  
I don't wanna die again,  
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see my huge brother Sam he’s really tall.  
Like a moose, like a moose, he makes everybody seem short  
Angels falling from the sky  
Very, very frightning I.  
(Gate of Heaven) Gate of Heaven  
(Gate of Heaven) Gate of Heaven  
Gate of Heaven locked and sealed  
Oh no no no

I'm just a demon, only Crowley loves me.  
He's just a demon from a hunter family,  
Spare him his life from this monster Crowley.

Archibald you stole the doors, please let me go?  
Archibald! No, I will not let you go. (Let him go!)  
Archibald! I will not let you go. (Let him go!)  
Archibald! We will not let you go. (Let me go!)  
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)  
Never, never let you go  
No more doors I told you so  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.  
Oh, Castiel, Castiel (Castiel, let me go.)  
Archangel Michael has a vessel set aside, it me, it’s me, it’s me

So you think you can send me to Hell still alive?  
So you think you can send me to Purgatory to die?  
Oh, demons, can't do this to me, demons,  
Just gotta get back, just gotta get back to the now.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

The Mark of Cain still matters,  
Don’t wanna puke up all my blood  
The first blade really matters,  
That old jawbone really matters to me.

Anyway the Hell Hounds go

 


	2. Supernatural Rhapsody: Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary:
> 
> The story of Supernatural, set to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody.  
> It's too much to fit into one parody, so I'll break them down by character.  
> The timeline is fluid, depending on the song and my memory.
> 
> I hope to write more, but no promises.  
> This is utterly silly and please feel free to skip it.  
> I'd like to write several more, from different characters' perspectives, but my Destiel story is calling.  
> Notes:
> 
> For destieljunkie.  
> This is not meant as a political missive, just a parody.
> 
> If it works out I will add other Supernatural characters.
> 
> If not, well, it's one of a kind.

**Part Two: Castiel**

Is this the real Earth?  
Or did I miss my turn?  
Gripped Dean’s arm tight and  
Gave him an Indian burn 

Open my eyes,  
Look up to the skies and see,  
Nothing’s familiar, where did Heaven go?  
This wasn’t easy, I’d say I told you so  
To God, but where is God,  
Nobody knows, nobody knows

Dean said, come in four hours.  
So I’m standing in the road,  
This is getting very old  
Eighteen-wheelers, swerve and curse at me  
Maybe I should move out of their way

Phone woman, ooh,  
Keeps asking for my name,  
“My name is Castiel, CASTIEL!  
“No it is not ‘Cats in Hell’.”

Too late, the phone voice stopped,  
I am all alone,  
I miss her voice, stupid phone.  
Too early, it’s only three o’clock  
Gotta stand here for another hour all alone.

Father, ooh (it’s cold when the wind blows),  
My suit is very tight  
I wish I didn't eat 100 cheeseburgers last night.

I feel a sensation new and unpleasant,  
It tickles, it itches, I do not like it.  
Thunderbirds pass like lightning,  
Very, very frightening me.  
(Poison Ivy) Poison Ivy.  
(Poison Ivy) Poison Ivy.  
Poison Ivy’s what I have.  
Magnifico. NOT.

I'm just an itchy angel, can’t stop scratching.  
He's just an itchy angel from a deadbeat family,  
Spare him this itch from his poison ivy.

Easy come, hard to go, will you make it go?  
Poison Ivy! No, we will not make it go. (Let him go!)  
Poison Ivy! No, we will not make it go. (Let him go!)  
Poison Ivy! No, we will not make it go. (Let him go!)  
Will not let you go. (Let me go!) Never, never let you go  
Never let me go, oh.  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.  
Oh Father please, Father please (Father, take away the itch.)  
Lucifer stole all the Calamine lotion from me, from me, from me.

So you think you can poison me and itch in my eye?  
So you think you can phone me and leave me to die?  
Oh, itch weed, can't do this to me, itch weed,  
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Finally been four hours,  
Dean is standing here,  
Dean really matters,  
Dean really matters to me.

Even when it itches.


	3. Supernatural Rhapsody: Crowley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's for Mordhena
> 
>  
> 
> I honestly don't know if these are silly, foolish, fun, or toilet paper fodder.
> 
> But they're fun to write, and give me a much needed break from the "Serious" stories.
> 
> I hope you like.

**Part Three: Crowley**

Am I still a demon?

Did I drink human blood?  
Do I love Dean Winchester?  
Everyone else does, why not f*ck the sod?

Open your eyes, Dean  
Look close at my face and see,  
Even thinking of you makes me come,  
What can I say, I like my fun,  
Anyway that Dean blows, I’m apt to come all over me.

Mother, just killed a man,  
Snapped my fingers at his head,  
Disappeared and now he's dead.  
Mother, I am King of Hell,  
It’s really fun to kill, just like you said.

Mother, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,  
You don't love me, don't know why,  
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,  
Be a witch, scratch that itch, kill anyone;it doesn’t really matter.

Too late, my Dean is here,  
He sends shivers down my spine,  
Want him all the bloody time.  
Goodbye, Mother, I've got to go,  
Gotta leave you all behind and make him mine  
Mother, ooh (anywhere that Dean goes),  
I don’t want him dead,  
I wish I could turn off what’s in my head.

I see a little shadow of a man,  
I’m a douche, I’m a douche, will you feel me up and feel me down?  
Thunderbolt and lightning,  
Maybe they’ll increase my heightening.  
(Oh my Dean, oh) Come to me oh.  
(Oh my Dean, oh) come on me oh,  
Right there, oh oh oh  
Magnifico.

I'm just a demon, nobody loves me.  
He's just a demon from a witch and an orgy,  
Spare him his life from his heredity.

Easy come, hard to go, Mother let me go  
Oh no! No, I will not let you go. (Let him go!)  
Oh no! No, I will not I not let you go. (Let him go!)  
On no! I will not let you go. (Let me go!)  
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)  
Never, never let you go, no  
Never send me to a workhouse, oh  
I’ll snap my fingers make you go.  
Oh, Mother witch, Mother witch (Mother witch, let me go.)  
Lucifer has a demon put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can spurn me and spit in my eye?  
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?  
Oh, Dean babe, can't do this to me, Dean, babe  
Get out while you can, or I'll never let you out of here.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Sex and death, they matter,  
Anyone can see,  
Sex and death, they matter,  
Sex and death, they matter to me.

Anyway that Dean goes.


	4. Supernatural Rhapsody: The Darkness

**Part Four: Many Characters**

**Winchesters** :

Is this the darkness?

Or did my fuses blow?

Dogs full of barkness,

At what, I do not know.

 

Open your eyes,

Look up to the skies and see,

I don’t see anything, it’s all gone dark,

Amara’s devious, watch her go,

Suck up everybody’s soul,

Anywhere Amara goes,

Really really matters to me,

to me.

 

 **Dean** :

Sammy, I just killed the Light,

Someone made a spell,

The spell was made in Hell.

Sammy, the Mark was just erased,

But now I've gone and broken all the bulbs.

 

Death, ooh ooh ooh ooh,

Didn't mean to make you die,

If it’s still dark again tomorrow morning,

Carry on, carry on, and please don’t send a Reaper.

 

Too late, the dark has come,

Black funnels chase Impala mine,

Baby’s aching all the time.

Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,

Gotta leave you all behind and find Amara.

 

Sammy, ooh ooh ooh ooh.

I want my night light

I sometimes wish I wasn’t reborn at all.

 

 **Crowley** :

I see a huge silhouette oh of a man,

There's the Moose, There's the Moose, and his brother, the Squirrell

Brilliant flash of lightning,

Very, very frightening me.

(Mark of Cain) Mark of Cain

(Mark of Cain) Mark of Cain

(Mark of Cain) Mark of Cain

Mark of Cain let go

And now it’s dark.

 

 **Rowena** :

I'm just a redhead witch, nobody loves me.

She’s just a redhead witch, hates her own family,

Freezes her son, makes Castiel a monstrosity.

 

 **Crowley** :

Castlel’s going to kill me, will you let me go?

King of Hell! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!)

King of Hell! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)

King of Hell! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)

Will not let you go. (Let him go!)

Never, never let you go

Never let you go, oh.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, mama mean, oh mama mean, oh mama mean, oh let me go.

Lucifer has a cage put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeee.

 

 **Cain** :

So you think you can kill me and not have to pay?

So you think you can use the first blade then go play?

Oh, Dean, please do this to me, Dean,

Then I’ll be free, and you’ll be a monster like me.

 

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

 

**Everyone**

Darkness really matters,

Nobody can see,

Darkness really matters,

Darkness really matters to me.

 

Anyway Amara blows.


End file.
